This morning and yesterday morning we have been learning about re-crafting. We had to read Mrs Ilaoa's class example and make it better. To make it better we had to break the story or a paragraph, Then we had to change the boring stuff and make the story better. This is what my partners and I wrote.
I felt something tugging on my line, as I was sitting on the slippery dock. I pulled as hard as I could but the creature in the water was to strong. I thought about it for a second and looked around but there was no-one to help me.
I kept trying to pull it in but it felt like it was massive, huge and large. I kept looking around and there was still nobody around. Then i heard a loud snap and I fell back. The line had broke. I decided that I was done for the day so I packed up and left.
Great to see you've added in some adjectives Alizhay. I like the imagery you've painted for your readers.
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